WANTED: LEADER FOR MAJOR WORLD RELIGION Preferred qualifications: Partially or fully abnegated selfhood. Personal connection with the godhead. Experience running large organizations. Pleasant manner. Required qualifications: Must not have history of sexually or physically abusing children, women or congregants. Must not have history of covering up other leaders’ sexual or physical abuse of children, women…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… A Backward spinoff — the amusingly named “Forward” — was at the center of a campaign to make celebrities sexy again. “We hope some of that newspaper stardust will rub off on us dowdy singers,” said Katy Perry, who sings Yiddish songs…
Meanwhile, nearby softcore erotica store, The Hole Megillah, reports unexpectedly high foot traffic from the ultra-Orthodox. The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here…
More stories here… Some of the Superhumanistic Jews who made the Backward possible in 5773 were Mr. Dr. Simon Shaw, Karen “K-Lo” Loew, Jason “Jar-El” Reich, “Demographic” Rob Kutner, Jonathan “JZ” Zacks, Rabbi Dr. Jay Michaelson, Gail “Gail” Lerner, Larry Cohler-Esses (leader of the Cohler-Essenes), “Sir” Paul Berger, Prof. Dr. Eddy Portnoy and the Rt….
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… 100 years ago 1913 Backward editor Babe Kahan returned from a month-long trip to Europe, during which he visited those “bastions of peaceful civilization” France and Germany, as well as the “delightful” Balkan countries of Serbia and Montenegro. In each community Kahan…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… In Kohelet it says, “For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope; for a living dog is better than a dead lion.” Now quite why the writer of Kohelet wants to be joined to a living dog…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… In a surprise development following its recent endorsement of women rabbis, Hamas announced last week that it is preparing to embrace gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals for new roles in its own community. “We think they would make excellent suicide bombers,”…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… After a long process, UNESCO has declared Jewish jokes as World Heritage Treasures. This follows a similar decision by the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization to protect Irish jokes for posterity. UNESCO representative Sven Svensson told the Backward that the…
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