Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
The Schmooze

The Internet Weighs In On Michael Cohen’s Prison Time

Michael Cohen, longtime lawyer to President Donald Trump, was sentenced to three years in prison on Wednesday morning.

Cohen will serve time after admitting to having illegally paid women, including Stormy Daniels, to keep quiet about their relations to Trump during the 2016 presidential campaign, and for lying to congress about a Trump building project in Russia. Cohen will also have to pay nearly two million dollars in fees and restitution.

Out in the public square, there is all the rejoicing, quiet terror, smugness, and ice-skating tweets we’ve come to expect when the Trump administration births a major news story. Here are some of the wildest reactions:

Michael Cohens everywhere poured one out for Michael Cohen:

Jonathan Van Ness of “Queer Eye” demonstrated Cohen taking a tumble:

Jewish Twitter star “Oh No She Twitnt” did the math on Cohen’s time:

Fans celebrated Cohen’s silverlining:

Some wished Michael a mazal:

And Cohen was compared to another late, great fallen hero:

Jenny Singer is the deputy lifestyle editor for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you move on, I wanted to ask you to support the Forward’s award-winning journalism during our High Holiday Monthly Donor Drive.

If you’ve turned to the Forward in the past 12 months to better understand the world around you, we hope you will support us with a gift now. Your support has a direct impact, giving us the resources we need to report from Israel and around the U.S., across college campuses, and wherever there is news of importance to American Jews.

Make a monthly or one-time gift and support Jewish journalism throughout 5785. The first six months of your monthly gift will be matched for twice the investment in independent Jewish journalism. 

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.