Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
The Schmooze

How to Wear Hanukkah Swag Without Offending Anyone

♫ On the first day of Hanukkah my true love gave to me, a dreidel with a stripper on top.♫

Not even two weeks after the offensive , we have entered the Hanukkah season minefield.

As if Jewish women don’t deal with enough stereotypes, a novelty item just sprinkled some salt on the wound. According to Kveller Nordstrom was forced to take down a Hanukkah sweater with the words “Chai Maintenance” and “Hanukkah J.A.P.” embroidered next to a Star of David and a menorah from their website.

Unsurprisingly, the male version of the novelty top just featured a cute “Oy Vey,” adding the kitsch without any of the negative spoiled/rich/brat connotation.

Image by Kveller

All this had us thinking — what other crazy Hanukkah swag is out there in the world of online retailers?

Here’s what we found:

As soon as Seth Rogen’s “The Night Before” hits theaters, this star-knit-wonder will be at every Ugly Holiday party come December.

Image by Night Before

You can have a little “Annie Hall” Woody Allen action going on for eight crazy nights.

Image by Screenshot: Tipsy Elves

What? No, just no.

Image by Screenshot: Zazzle

Step 1: Crown Heights sweater. Step 2: Monsey, New Square and Williamsburg?

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

See, you can look like a schmuck without being a schmuck!

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

We’re not going to lie, this is really cute.

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Whoever designed this sweater: the Jerk Store called, they’re running out of you!

Image by Screenshot: Zazzle

Can we all agree right now to never, ever, ever buy this?

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

The only thing offensive about this is the searing pain it causes our eyes. Otherwise, go for it!

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Everything about this T-shirt is amazing. May the Schwartz be with you!

Image by Screenshot: Etsy

This reindeer might be confusing Hanukkah with Rosh Hashanah, but thanks for the good wishes either way!

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Hanukkah Harry agrees.

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Subtly festive.

Image by Screenshot: Zazzle

Keep warm with an appropriate sweater and Happy Hanukkah!

A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.

Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.