Stephen Colbert Hates Thanksgivukkah

By Anne Cohen October 16, 2013

With Thanksgivukkah madness on the rise, we’d be remiss if we didn’t include Stephen Colbert’s angry rant in the mix.

Stephen Colbert loves Thanksgiving. So it’s no wonder he gets mad when “American sacred day of family, and hearing Nana’s unvarnished opinion of Filipinos, is in danger.”

Why is his glorious holiday in such peril? In an unlikely turn of events (which will only happen again 70,000 years from now), the first day of Hannukah coincides with Thanksgiving. The horror! Children could start believing that “Thanksgiving started when the Wampanoag sat down with the Maccabees and the yams lasted for eight nights,” he laments.

“How dare you, Hannukah!”

Hilarity ensues.

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Anne Cohen was the Forward’s deputy digital media editor. When she’s not looking for the secret Jewish history of Voodoo in New Orleans, or making lists about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, she writes for The Assimilator. She graduated from the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism with an M.S. magazine concentration in 2012.

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