Guest editor Sam Apple

This fall, eight guest editors are helping to shape the Forward Forum by commissioning opinion pieces. This week, it’s Sam Apple, editor-in-chief and publisher of The Faster Times, an online “new type of newspaper for a new type of world.” He is also the author of two books, “Schlepping Through the Alps” and “American Parent.”

Guest editor Sam Apple

Upon receiving an invitation to guest edit the Forward’s opinion page, I had three immediate thoughts: 1) this invitation is clearly a huge mistake; 2) finally, a chance to convince the Jewish people to act on my nutty ideas, and 3) I hope they will pay me before realizing they’ve made a huge mistake.

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When, after waiting several weeks, no one at the Forward had confessed to an error, I set to work on thought #2 — “Convince the Jewish people to act on my nutty ideas” — only to learn that being asked to edit an opinion page is not synonymous with being asked to write a 3,000-word rant. Apparently, I was supposed to find other contributors.

And so I will not be using this space to convince you that synagogue attendance on Shabbat would skyrocket if only congregations would serve brunch during the d’var Torah. Nor will I be laying out the arguments for turning the Passover shankbone into the official mascot of the Jewish people. Nor, for that matter, will you be reading the fine points of my case for Lag B’Omer sex parties.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that my friends are also pretty nutty.

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