News

Local Milk Merchant Accused Of Contact With Russians

Image by Nikki Casey

By Ian Fist March 7, 2017

The FBI yesterday revealed covert photographs of a villager known as Tevye colluding with Russian diplomats. Little is known of the conversation — which Tevye initially denied ever happened. He is suspected of discussing how he might be made “a rich man” and of concealing the conversation by having a violinist play loudly on top of his house.

Oppressive autarch of the Backward since 2009. Brooks no dissent.

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