Dear Bintel Brief:

Shabbos dinner has long been my favorite Jewish custom. What could be more Jewish than gathering with friends and family around a table for a good meal? However, the issues of Jewish ethics and the politics of food have invaded my table — turning my celebration into a battle.

Few of my friends are omnivores. Each seems to have his or her own dietary restrictions and, of course, preferences. One friend doesn’t eat meat; another is allergic to wheat gluten, and many others keep strictly kosher (while I do not).

Forwarding the News

Thoughtful, balanced reporting from the Forward and around the web, bringing you updated news and analysis each day.

Terms(Required)

I agree to the Forward's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy

Email(Required)

I am constantly torn between cooking or buying food for one person and cooking for the whole table. Is it better to provide a small amount for the person with restrictions or to bend over backwards to make something everyone can eat?

Who takes the cake: the individual or the table?

PERPLEXED HOSTESS

Joan Nathan responds:

Dear Perplexed Hostess,

I empathize with you! In my family there are vegetarians, semi-vegetarians and those who don’t eat gluten. At my table, I always make sure that there is at least one dish to suit each person’s needs, but I create the rest of the menu to serve the majority, which is usually made up of less picky eaters.

Sometimes I also encourage those with dietary restrictions to bring a dish of their liking to share. Sometimes it’s just a matter of readjusting your perception of a main dish. At Thanksgiving, for example, I almost plotzed when my daughter announced that she was a vegetarian. However, I realized that a great vegetarian meal can consist of several different side dishes, and having more vegetables on the table is always a good thing.

Joan Nathan is the author of numerous cookbooks, including “Jewish Cooking in America” (Knopf, 1994), “Joan Nathan’s Jewish Holiday Cookbook” (Schocken, 2004) and “The New American Cooking” (Knopf, 2005).

If you have a question for the Bintel Brief, send an email to [email protected]. Questions selected for publication are printed anonymously. New installments of the column are published on Mondays.

A message from our Publisher & CEO Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

The coming year promises to be filled with more complex and historic developments. We are entering an era where independent, fact-based Jewish journalism will be more important than ever. We need to be ready for whatever 2025 will bring, and with your help, we can be.

We’ve set a goal to raise $260,000 by December 31. That’s an ambitious goal, but one that will give us the resources we need to invest in the high quality news, opinion, analysis and cultural coverage that isn’t available anywhere else.

If you feel inspired to make an impact, now is the time to give something back. Join us as a member at your most generous level.

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

With your support, we’ll be ready for whatever 2025 brings.

$36 $500

$120 $180 Other amount