A Jewish Diet for the Ages
Instant Heart Attach Sandwich Image by Courtesy of the 2nd Avenue Deli
When we toast ‘L’Chaim’ (to life), we mean just that.
Cornell Medical College has embarked on a research project to determine if there is a genetic reason why Ashkenazi Jews to live so long. Jewcy provided their own dietary plan — grapefruit and an egg for breakfast, sardines and horseradish for lunch — for a healthy Jewish lifestyle.
Perhaps in an effort to promote longevity, they overlooked the age-old cry of the Jewish mother: “Ess! Ess!” (Eat, Eat!). While Jewcy’s diet might help you live the longest life, we will heed Woody Allen’s advice: “After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you’ve ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I’m talking about.” We avoid dinners with an insurance salesmen and never shy away from a line up of Jewish culinary delicacies (old and new).
So bottoms’ up Cornell Medical College, and remember what the Ashkenazi Jews believe: there’s no better way to celebrate the fact that you’re alive than by eating yourself to death. As Grandpa Pickles, in the 90’s kid’s movie ‘A Rugrats Chanukah’, once cried over latkes: “the miracle is that these things have been clogging our arteries for two thousand years, and yet, we survive!”
Breakfast
Start your day off right with cheese or potato blintzes with marmalade — fat, carbohydrates, and processed sugars. Blintzes are ‘light’, making it easier to consume many in a single sitting.
Lunch
The Instant Heart Attack: The 2nd Avenue Deli’s heart-stopping sandwich ‘consisting of two large potato pancakes with your choice of Corned Beef, Pastrami, Turkey or Salami’ is a great way to add years to your life, or shed a few pounds from your wallet — it retails at about $24.
OR
The Dr. Goldstein Horseradish): Shelsky’s classic old world treat consisting of chopped liver and horseradish sandwiched between two schmaltz fried latkes, will clear your sinuses and help you keep your eyes open to see the bill your doctor hands you for your clogged arteries.
Dinner
Cholent. You may have trouble finding a doctor to prescribe you this tasty meat stew instead of Sominex, but it tastes better and never fails to lead to a Saturday afternoon nap, perhaps an eternal one, after a long day.
Dessert
Rugelach or babka. Because 2,500 calories a day just wasn’t enough.
A message from our Publisher & CEO Rachel Fishman Feddersen
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism so that we can be prepared for whatever news 2025 brings.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
