Fred Flintstone, vulvas and pot paraphernalia: 8 unconventional menorahs for Hanukkah
It’s not too late to take some strange inspiration for lighting the candles
Jeremy Langford made this menorah from a bone he found near his studio near Israel’s Ella Valley. Courtesy of Jeremy Langford
By PJ Grisar December 20, 2024
Technically, a kosher menorah has just a few requirements. It needs spots for eight candles and a shamash and the holders must be arranged in a straight, level line.
Within those lax parameters, Jews have — and continue to have — a field day. Just this year the glass artist Jeremy Langford designed, from eggshells and bones, a “Flintstones Chanukiah.” And, it seems like every Hanukkah, people recall the miracle of marijuana with a menorah bong.
Here are eight odd menorahs — one for each night — to inspire your candle lightings.
The Flintstones Chanukiah
Somehow Fred Flintstone, who would appear to live in an era well before the first century, once met Santa Claus. But Jeremy Langford, inspired by his grandson’s school project, has made the Bedrock resident a landsman, cobbling together eggshells and bone for a centerpiece that looks prehistoric. As for the halacha, Langford quipped, “Fred didn’t have a rabbi around to ask, so this is what it is.”
Labia menorah
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While repro shabbats have been busy making uterus-shaped challahs, Rachel Bloom once set the internet ablaze by posting a photo of her “labia menorah” on the first night of Hanukkah, in a move that I suspect may have been a rejoinder to Gwyneth Paltrow’s infamous vagina-scented candle.
Bong menorah
The fine people at Grav Labs once made a bong menorah, which, if we’re being honest, seems like a great way to pregame for eating an unreasonable amount of latkes and sufganiyot.
Menorah #7
Artist Peter Shire’s menorahs remind me of the “Duck Amok” cartoon. How do you light it? Will doing so accidentally summon the spirit of Joan Miró? In any case, this one is probably out of my price range.
Dinosaur menorahs
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If Fred Flintstone could be Jewish, why not Dino? Online there are any number of options for the dinosaur lover in your life. If you can’t hook your kids with the sweeping story of the Maccabean Revolt, you can at least get their attention with a T-Rex whose back is on fire.
Pickle jar menorah
Susan Alexandra has a menorah of a spilled pickle jar for around $300. “In honor of our beloved Briney’s, we made a menorah fit for a pickle princess,” its ad copy boasts. “One capsized jar of gherkins, swimming in a pool of pickle juice. There is truly nothing like this in the whole world!” Which, fine, but really olives seem like the way to go for an oil-based holiday.
Banorah
A minyan of Minions will appreciate the Kikkerland Ceramic Banana Menorah.
Vatican basement menorah
The Arch of Titus, celebrating the general’s victory in Judea, is notable for highlighting a group of Romans making off with the menorah from the Second Temple. Some on Jewish Twitter are convinced that the menorah is now somewhere in the basement of the Vatican. (Whether the Vatican even has a basement, or that’s a rumor like the basement of the Alamo in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure is not a fact I know with certainty.) But as long as we believe in miracles, we can hope that this year it will return to us.
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