Why I spend Yom HaZikaron grieving with my Palestinian peers

A female soldier lays Israeli national flags adorned with black sashes atop with the Hebrew word “Remembrance” on graves, at the Kiryat Shaul military cemetery in the Mediterranean coastal city of Tel Aviv on April 13, 2021. By JACK GUEZ/Getty Images

By Robi Damelin April 13, 2021

Once again, Yom HaZikaron — our day of remembrance for soldiers who lost their lives in a conflict that should have ended long ago — is upon us.

And some bereaved Israelis like myself, having lost their precious loved ones to ongoing conflict, will choose to spend one of the most sacred days of the Israeli calendar together with Palestinians, in a joint memorial ceremony.

Why?

The answer is quite simple: We believe in the sanctity of human life. We believe that a broken heart has no nationality, no skin color and no religion.

All tears that fall at a graveside have the same color. That pain is the same for all.

Last year, some 200,000 people from all over the world observe Yom HaZikaron by participating in the Joint Israeli-Palestinian Memorial Day Ceremony, a joint effort between Combatants for Peace and the Parents Circle-Families Forum. (I am a spokesperson for the latter.) They are drawn there by a shared wish and determination to prevent other families from experiencing the same pain — so great, it never goes away. That pain will be with us and next to us for the rest of our lives.

Our Ceremony is not a political act of provocation. The very fact that a person attends means that they are aligned with our message of non-violence and reconciliation.

As a bereaved, Israeli mother, who lost my son to the conflict, I have the right to commemorate my loss in the manner in the way that best honors my son, David, who was a soldier in the Israeli army’s reserve unit when he was shot and killed by a Palestinian. David, who was a part of the Israeli peace movement, believed in education and that Israel should be an example of democracy to all.

We must be doing something that touches the heart. The Joint Israeli and Palestinian Memorial Day Ceremony got it start with almost 200 attendees in 2005. Last year, more than 200,000 people joined online.

This year in addition to the loss of life to the military conflict, we will recognize the loss of thousands and thousands of people to the loss of COVID-19 pandemic, by welcoming those who never had the chance to say goodbye to their loved ones. Our wish is that they will be inspired by people who chose to harness their grief to create a better world , a world without hatred , without violence and without revenge.

On my son David’s grave, there is a quotation by Khalil Gibran:“The whole earth his birthplace, and all humans his friends.” That sentiment guided him in life; it guides me, now, as I honor him.

The Joint Palestinian-Israeli Memorial Day Ceremony will be live broadcast on April 13 at 1:30 PM EDT. To watch the Ceremony, register: www.afcfp.org/memorial.

Robi Damelin is a member and spokesperson of the Parents Circle – Families Forum – bereaved Palestinians and Israelis for peace.

Robi Damelin’s son David was killed by a Palestinian sniper while he was guarding a checkpoint near a settlement during his army reserve service. Robi is the Israeli spokesperson and an active member of the Parents Circle, a group of 600 Israeli and Palestinian families who have lost close family members and who work together for reconciliation and a just resolution to the conflict. She speaks with a Palestinian partner in communities and schools throughout Israel the Palestinian Territories, as well as internationally. She is the protagonist featured in the documentary, One Day after Peace.

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