Stanley Siegelman
By Stanley Siegelman
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News When Flocks Unfrock
NEWS ITEM: Time Magazine reports that some Protestant churches oriented toward young adults are urging married couples to have “not just better sex, but more of it.” Pastors point to Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 24, which says a man “shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” Good pastors have assumed a…
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News Porn Grows in the Holy Land
NEWS ITEM: Video-porn is flourishing in Israel, via a Web site that features amateur performers. The latter consist of homegrown Israelis, both Jews and Arabs. Voyeurs, rejoice! Be not forlorn! There’s solace in Israeli porn! (The critics praise, ad hominem, “Sex Party in Jerusalem”). Both Arabs and the Hebrew tribe Alike to sinful site subscribe….
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News Fixing the Flying Toilet
NEWS ITEM: After the toilet on the orbiting space station broke down, the space shuttle Discovery delivered an unusual payload to the stressed astronauts: a pump to fix the faulty potty. The astronauts, with great distaste, By hand were pumping liquid waste Because their toilet pump was broke — In outer space, this is no…
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News Shakespeare Was a Jewish Woman
NEWS ITEM: A scholar who holds numerous degrees argues that William Shakespeare was actually a Jewish woman of Italian descent, Amelia Bassano Lanier. One clue, he says, is that the Shakespearean plays contain more examples of women characters dressing up as men than in the whole English theater up to that point. A scholar now…
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News Same-Sex Marriage Is Kosher!
In California, judges rule That same-sex marriages are cool. A girl may now a female wed, Two males may share a marriage-bed. It’s legal, on the up-and-up, So drain the brimming loving-cup! This novelty connubial Is all quite constitutional. The justices from bench explain Anatomy is not germane. What counts and matters, they enthuse, Is…
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News Photographic Indecency?
NEWS ITEM: Hamodia, an English-language newspaper geared toward an ultra-Orthodox readership, refuses to print photos of women. The editors contend that doing so would violate Jewish laws governing modesty. “Thou shalt not show the female form!” For uptight Jews, this is the norm. “No pics of women are allowed,” Asserts this anti-Playboy crowd. To reproduce…
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News Ed Koch’s Grave Decision
NEWS ITEM: Former New York City mayor Ed Koch has purchased a burial plot in an Upper Manhattan cemetery operated by Trinity Church. He wants to remain in Manhattan forever, he asserts. The mayor thoughtfully explains He wants his bodily remains To rest within the burg he loves. Should we extend him Mazel Tovs? In…
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News A Passover Poem
Passover is the time for all To have a festive (matzo) ball! The Seder blooms around the globe, Unnerving the Judeophobe. It gives to communists a treat: They love to leftward lean (and eat)! They also like the history, The parting waves, the “red”-named sea. To boozers, Seders are just fine Because they mandate drinking…
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